Hello there 😀. It’s Monday the 17/6/23 in sunny Scotland 🏴. Ok I’ve been going to write about #Eupd for some time but was too busy working on recovery and the school holidays and I wasn’t sure where to start , I started on this a while ago and did a rough draft so here goes .
I myself suffer from EUPD (F60.3) explosive type so I think that’s where I’ll start as loved ones all over the world must be demented living with a partner or loved one with this illness. The first thing I’ll say is this , hand on heart. Borderlines only lash out at people they love ( makes no sense I know) but I hope by the end of this I help make sense of it.
Right !! Hopefully this dosent take long to read, and also makes a lot of sense to a lot of people looking for an insight to "EUPD " "Borderline personality disorder" Key word hopefully !! as I am extremely passionate beyond passionate about mental health. Try and Imagine someone with a personality that is best compared to a walking nuclear bomb 💣 any word or minor thing could cause an explosion . I’d imagine a lot of loved ones will associate it with walking on eggshells or trying to navigate their way through a minefield.
NOW !!! There is a honestly a reason for this. Let me make it clear and reassure you, the person you love does LOVE YOU!! That’s the important part although I can imagine what must go through a persons mind when someone they care so much about is acting so erratic. Let’s ask why they act this way? You may have heard the term "trigger" but you are not sure what it means. Usually, a trigger refers to some event that brings on a major exacerbation of BPD symptoms.
Basically it’s a person with ( borderline personality disorder ) "overreacting" to something extremely minor and blowing a complete fuse 💥 .People with BPD have a set of emotional triggers that cause them to spin out, explode or meltdown. Act out of character this kind of reaction ( behaviour) ( gets even worse with alcohol or substance misuse ) ( it’s like literally pouring petrol/ Gasoline onto a bonfire) 🔥
People with BPD are extremely sensitive to stress, so stressful situations activate symptoms related to the condition. People who live in relationships with those who have borderline personality disorder feel like they can never be sure as to what to expect next from their loved one. I can honestly understand why someone would think that way.
Me myself? I can be extremely hard to live with sometimes. It can probably feel seem that you’re loved one is constantly attacking you and jumping down your throat ( that’s an illusion) the reason I say this ? Well ? most of the time they are just feeling distressed and trying to express how they feel.
People who are around those with BPD often do feel attacked personally and feel like they are on the constant defense. People usually react to their tone of voice more than their actual words.People in general usually react strongly to people with BPD because it seems like they are being personally attacked. Often in fact I'd go as far to say 99.9% of the time , they aren't intending to attack you,
Admittedly yes it can really seem that way. I think this is true because the person with " BPD" aint being mindful of the tone, volume, speed, etc of what they are saying so it could come across as aggressive . It's important to listen to the actual content of what a person with BPD is saying rather than the other aspects of communication.
When someone with #BPD is overwhelmed then Feelings become facts. This is down to emotional dysregulation and how their brain processes information.People who live with BPD function from the emotional aspect of the brain. They literally search their feelings at any given moment to help them make decisions or navigate life.
As we know, both i and you the " reader" emotions can change as quickly as the weather and emotions are not fact based. But to a borderline, all their feelings are facts. To them, if it feels true, it IS true. Feelings are facts at that moment in time. What can be frustrating about this? is there are probably dozens of times or more that they followed their emotions only to later backed down on how they were feeling and apologised , as what they were feeling it turned out to be a complete overreaction.
However instead of learning from this and building their insight and placing less trust in their emotions, they continue to operate this way. This can be extremely frustrating to everyone involved. One of the things that must drive loved ones crazy is that "Their loved ones" behaviours don't make sense.The explanation for this is extremely simple. They don't act, behave or make decisions based on logic or reason.
Everything they do or say is emotionally based. They follow whatever their emotions are telling them to do in that moment. Anyones thoughts and emotions can change. The difference is a borderline can literally change in a heartbeat and usually do, many times throughout every single day, we are talking from , happy, angry , to sad to laughter inside 20 mins the behavior of a BPD changes minute by minute and will be in direct contradiction of what they were doing just a little while ago.
They will talk and act according to whatever strong emotion they are experiencing in that moment in time. people with borderline feel a significant amount of guilt for their uncontrollable erratic behaviour. It’s important to remember they can’t control their emotions and me being a fellow sufferer? I know how guilty I can be when I’ve said stuff out of spite that I never meant . Nobody believes you it has led me down some dark paths of strong suicidal ideation.( Thankfully I'm learning how to handle my emotions and not act on impulse )
Never in the heat of the moment ( Argument) DARE a borderline to do something these people are NOT attention seeking the chances are they will carry out their threat. Borderlines have the highest suicide rate in the world . So pay attention if a loved one is being distant .
The GREAT thing is and I'm sure if you know someone with BPD is that - They are also fiercely loyal people and loving and can be extremely fun , I think their quirky ways and unpredictable nature is what makes people so attracted to them in the first place then after ? Based on my own experiences Maybe 3 months ? the BPD surfaces and their new partner questions if it’s the same person that they met or fell in love with ?
The resounding answer is YES !!!! . But us borderlines are hard work. I sincerely hope this blog helps someone out there understand and have a better insight to BPD . Minor occurrences can prompt a major reaction, the result of a highly sensitive nature.
Every comment must be scrutinised. I will dissect what was said, why it was said, then I consider the many different meanings that can be attached to it ,even to analyse the tone of voice and body language. I become distressed easily and it sometimes takes me days to "return to baseline". ( normal mood) This can be triggered by something which someone else may not have even have noticed. "It's like my mind is a laptop with numerous tabs popping up at once. Every tab must be looked at, there's no such thing as just forget about it. I can't" do it ,I hold grudges for days.
I hope this has given someone an insight. And thanks for taking the time to read , joe . Oh and if you identify with anything I've written go see your GP❤️
I saw my gp and she was like, this is something that you need to get over on your own. ive tried all the workbooks, meditations, yoga, nothing works. pls help im driving my partner insane
I've been questioning my diagnosis for few weeks now. This has cemented it. I am EUPD. I am explosive. Thank you. This will help.
Thank you so much.