When it comes deep down to it? Nobody is as important as you! your ownself the whole world that you dream of revolves around your ownself first and foremost. If your struggling with Addiction wether it's Alcohol, or Drugs it's all the same. You can give what you have but you CANNOT give what you don't have.
If you decide to lift a drink or abuse a substance of Your CHOICE. ? Then you DONT have sobriety. You are no longer clean. My wife once said to me ? All she wanted for Xmas was a sober husband. At the time I flew into a rage 😡 I felt insulted. However now I can see what she meant and also why. I have a lot of quotes and advice of my own , however one that sticks in my own mind is this .? Recovery is putting addiction LAST so that everyone and everything that we LOVE ❤️ comes FIRST ! .
If your thinking of picking up then think about that ? As it really is true .We all have a CHOICE And it implies in everything. Give and Take is rule of nature. Unless you sow the seeds you cannot dream of anything growing, let alone reaping anything which is secondary. What I mean by that is ? " let's hypothetically say you like music and deep down know that you have the talent if you pushed yourself to form a band that could be successful but you've Fucked up things so bad before by turning up shitfaced in studios so your probably too ashamed to do it now , or your anxiety is so fucking bad that you feel a drink will help you get back on track and have another go full of Dutch courage.
It's easy to forget in many cases being intoxicated was what lead to us becoming a laughing stock .well whatever your passion or hobby is ? Then that would be secondary as our loved ones should ALWAYS come FIRST. If you love them you will stay clean/sober . Period ! Always try to keep yourself busy . If you feel negativity creeping in to you. Think how far you've come .Don't let other people or obstacles destroy your inner peace either.
Things will work out if you have the right attitude. Attitude is basically the key 🔑 it unlocks 🔐 the true potential we have and also the true love ❤️ that we alway have carried in our hearts. If people say your a waste of space ect ect just say this . "I wrote this myself by the way 😁. "A Leopard may not be able to change its spots? " but a human being can change their attitude " That is the key like I says two mins ago. Alcohol was my escape route.
Alcohol gave me that warm glow and calmed me down. I thought it was like some mystical magic potion 🧪 . I found out when I lifted a drink again that it CHANGED my personality, it wasn't until I seen myself in full flight on camera that I realised just how much it CHANGED it. It takes a lot to embarrass me but some of the things I was saying wow! Just fucking WOW ! ?
All I can truly say is I don't know that person . However at the same time the person on video WAS indeed me. And I did say some horrible nasty vile things it was all ME. But I never knew that person existed , and I still don't know who that person is . No manners , no respect no morals no respect for myself either to be honest .
Basically everything I stand for this bloke who looked like me was against every principle I stand for. However I learned that the hard way. It's not something I'd ever want anyone to try as it's a LONG away back , a lot of bridges needing reconstructed completely, some beyond repair. And it's not just a LONG way back some NEVER make it back.
Some by choking on their own vomit. And some by accidental overdose because their body lost the tolerance when they got clean. I don't want to become another statistic I have a wife and 3 kids. So please if your reading this then don't RISK it . It's not worth the misery. Think of it like this ?
If you had to relapse and this is a "hypothetical situation" im just trying to make you " the reader " think clearly. Let's say you? " the reader" lifted a drink or relapsed taking whatever is your drug of choice ? Then afterwards through either shame or guilt or even " lashing out to spite people that have did you wrong in the past " ended up dead ?
Well the people that you lashed out at ? They would not care. BUT the people that you LOVE ❤️ and want to spare the most would have to carry that burden and heartache for the rest of their life's . Always remember that. I've wrote about this in my other blog " suicidal ideation.
I personally try to go to bed happy and wake up happy. If I have bad day then I have to slow down and say " Joe a bad day doesn't mean a bad life. Being happy is a bi-product of doing the " right things " when nobody's looking and able to look your self in the mirror knowing your living an honest life . Thanks for reading Joe . 17/6/23
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