Hi guys it's me "joe here thought I'd give an update 18/1/23 As people who follow me on Twitter will probably have noticed that I've been acting out of character all week. Irritable and moody.I've a lot to say but thought thought I'd call this post " Pawprints in the sand "The reason being even though I have lots to cover and too much for 1 post. I thought to myself that on self reflection that my personal experience is that Dogs are more loyal than most people are in a lifetime. The heartache and emotional pain that i felt a few weeks ago after I left my boy in for an operation was on another level. He's been back home now for many weeks .I was waiting on results to see if he has any cancerous cells ♋️. All came back normal .he's still not eating properly I think I payed £1200 to get his fucking teeth brushed 😂 .I honestly felt like I had backstabbed an animal that has given me great joy and has never been nothing but loving towards me. They way I see it is this , when you are a dogs master , "you are " that dogs world 🌎 . They are owed such devotion, back they share so many traits with us humans they feel pain and sadness and they can even be depressed, they show when they are happy and There's no better feeling when they wag their tail. I have a Saint Bernard at the moment . I sacrificed most of my teenage years and had a pitbull x ridgeback until he was 15 and I'd do it all again. Some dogs are tiny but they leave a void that that can never be truly filled , for the time being my boys here and I'll treasure every moment I have with him. Ok on myself. Me being an ex problem drinker , self meditator .I was experiencing a lot of discomfort and extreme lethargy so I had an ultrasound last year . " Fatty liver". Got my prostate blood test aswell nothing showed up. I'm on strong pain medication Co-dydramol 500/30 plus voltarol plus 400mg of pregabalin even though I'm not in agony I shouldn't feel any pain , it's hard to explain kind of niggling , always devoid of energy . I've been checked over again as of last week and on second opinion the doctors think it's defo musculoskeletal.I have to avoid caffeine or my sleep medication dosent work, to be honest they don't really work , I've struggled since 2009 most of my adult life through traumatic events with ptsd and crippling anxiety . I want to save up and buy my daughter her first car if she passes in 2 years. I wanted to buy a house for my two autistic boys and refurbish it so they have a nest nest egg as I worry constantly what will happen when I'm no longer here .I worry and over analyze every situation Without my wife I wouldn't have what I have today "children leave an imprint in our lives and we leave a huge impression on theirs and it's our job to guide them as much as possible and give them the best possible start in life.. Ive hopefully learned from my grandfather who brought me up since I was 2 years old and taught me everything from the solar system to reading and writing,speaking of whom at the time I type is gravely ill with septicaemia and could die any day now. I'm struggling with that thought. I hope I've taken a mixture of what he taught me and also my own knowledge and mixed that in and passed it down to my daughter who cheers me up and makes me laugh although some of the humour is a bit dark 😂.I am also struggling right now with historical sexual abuse , I was told last week " it never happened " and to my absolute shock and horror when I thought it couldn't get any a family member had the nerve to ask " "who my witness is " " it never happened "So basically allowing a sexual predator to masquerade into society. I am not the only victim. They are many others , many older than me whom woke up from a drunken sleep to being sexually assaulted. I am keeping my cards close to my sleeve and holding a royal flush and will act upon when I feel the time is right to do so. In order to build a strong watertight case to convict an offender, you need credible witness to come forward. I have enough to do that but the situation is complex ,I need to bide my time so I can look the perpetrator in the eye . People who doubted me should be ashamed of themselves for not speaking out. As it makes them just as guilty.I got asked last week " who's your witness " As if I'd be stupid enough or dumb enough to give out such sensitive information , I have found plenty other victims of the same offender , who's other nephew was sexually assaulted by their partner while sleeping . Don't you think it's odd this was never reported? If someone molested your son ?, or even your own nephew What would you do ? You'd report them to the police and tell everyone round about them what they were living next to .Any normal rational thinking person would know that a line had been crossed, but it's all been kept hush hush. I thought about taking the law into my own hands last week. However I have so much to live for and also so much to offer . I will do things in the proper manner through the courts. Take care if you stopped by my website and had a read I appreciate it. Oh and remember to sign up and become a member my website is free and Ive started doing a free giveaway every month , . I'm going to be doing everything from gift cards for Morrisons , actually this months is actually a £50 Morrisons gift card , I'll be doing clothing ranges and other random stuff. I am a bit behind this month in doing it as I'm chasing my tail a little bit .I'm hoping to be get into politics so I'll need to be sensible but at the same time the stuff. I write and share about is all true and by getting into politics ( which the wheels are in motion) ,I for one will be pushing to spread more awareness about mental health, addiction and how it's linked and to end stigma once and for all. I will also be pushing for harder sentences for sex offenders. Take care Joe. ❤️ Oh and remember if your feeling low " don't count the days" " make the days count.
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